Slow it down...

Have you ever felt like you thought you understood the passage of time and then something happens and it all goes out the window? Time, your understanding of it, how much you need, how little you have, how you wish you could stop the clock? Like how I thought it was September and was enjoying the onset of fall and now I look up and what?? It's November?! And it's halfway over! What is happening? People always say time goes by faster when you have children and I never got that. But now I do.

It has been a super fun time with Junebug lately too. She is walking, running, talking a LOT (she has the vocabulary of someone twice her age we think) and is the world's happiest baby. We've done some really fun things with her over the last few months like trips to the Nashville zoo, a road trip to Kentucky to visit her great-aunts, a Dia de los muertos and scarecrow exhibit at Cheekwood, a fun Halloween party and kids' parade, taking her out on Friday nights for dinner and letting her eat everything we're eating (loving this), and lots of stories and puppet shows at the library. She loves books and her dolls and her "nuggy" (a sock puppet owl given to her by her uncle Chris that she takes to bed with her every night). Her teacher at her mom's day out program said she is doing great, she's very smart and also very visual.

She said, unlike a lot of the other children, June actually likes to sit still during story time and look at the book. Imagine that.

And as for the diet and I, well we broke up. But I did do the cleanse pretty strictly for two weeks and felt the effects of all the good it was doing. I should have kept it up but I felt like it was getting to be too hard. And, no excuses--I just didn't have the resolve. I solved one health mystery, though, and I don't think I am gluten-intolerant. And I discovered what can happen when things get out of balance so in the future I know when and with what things I need to tighten the reigns. I also know I can't live without coffee, at least not right now when I have a baby who naps little and likes to get up at 5:30. I know I can live on butternut squash and quinoa, brown rice and veggies and that anything sprinkled with Gomasio tastes a hundred times better. And I quit drinking beer every night and that in itself has made a huge difference.

I still have been trying to cook in a healthier way and to that end have made a lot of things with the produce of fall: squash and cauliflower, brussels sprouts, pumpkin and kale. Like this roasted cauliflower and butternut with bread crumbs; and a brussels sprout and cauliflower pasta recipe from Marc Vetri with toasted bread crumbs and anchovies. It was delicious. Find the recipe here.

Instead of pasta lately we've been eating more brown rice. I love it. It such a deep and nutty flavor that, unlike white rice, I could eat it just on its own or with a fried egg on top, some scallions and a dash of soy. Here is a great primer I just came across in the dining section of the NY Times on the many ways to prepare brown rice including some recipes.

Oh - and I almost forgot to mention one of the few things I baked last month, which was also one of the best things I've ever made: pumpkin whoopie pies from the Baked cookbook. OMG. They were sick. In a good way. No one could believe how moist and yummy and pop-four-in-your-mouth good they were. And pretty cute too, don't you think?

In other news, I applied for a job in a far away place --a place which I love and in which it would be amazing to live for a while. It's a long long long shot for me but I couldn't not apply. I'll be looking for more opportunities like this one in the coming months and, who knows? We could end up doing something really adventurous really soon which would be just what the doctor ordered.

roasted vegetable salad + a restart

This is a salad I made last week with all the veggies from the vegetable drawer in order to clean out the fridge. It had eggplant, peppers, yellow squash, golden beets and swiss chard, served over brown rice. I roasted the veg at 400 for about 45 min., then sauteed the chard with a little garlic and chicken broth and tossed with the roasted veggies, adding a few drops of olive oil and balsamic vinegar, salt and pepper to season. It was easy, healthy and really tasty.

I'm on week three of the cleanse now but really I'm starting over. Let me explain. I started this detox program/elimination diet with every intention of sticking to it for 60 days. That means 60 days of no caffeine, no alcohol, no sugar, no wheat/gluten, no dairy and no junk of any kind. It means eating mostly fruits and vegetables, brown rice and grilled fish, lots of good, clean water and that's about it. Let me tell you, it is hard.

The first week I did great but I felt like crap. I guess it's true that when you clean out your systems, stuff gets eliminated that is toxic and so the effects of that can make you feel sick. I felt tired and grumpy, hungry and like I had a mild cold. I had thoughts like "if this is what it feels like to eat clean, I want to go back to my old ways," and "Life is not worth living without coffee, alcohol, etc." These are exactly the kind of thoughts that I was warned were possible by the doctor* who says this diet is "not for irresolute wimps."

*the doctor is the creator of the program I'm following. I'm not going to recommend him or his site until this thing is over.

I guess I felt sorry for myself because as soon as I started to feel pretty good, about day 5, with more energy and no cold symptoms, I cheated. First it was an innocent little coffee with milk. Then it was a whole lunch at Back to Cuba cafe with my Spanish conversation partner. I reasoned that it was "a special occasion" as I had never been there (!) and my partner would not want to eat alone and after all, I had invited her. I had a cubano (ham and cheese, pickles and mayo sandwiched between two pieces of crusty white bread) and a cafe con leche.

(image courtesy of Meet Me in the Kitchen)

Then this past weekend, we went out of town to Louisville, KY and I confess I went a little crazy. I ate like I would eat on any trip since for me, eating and exploring a city's food scene is one of the reasons I travel and I can't imagine going anywhere and not doing that. And it was so much fun and we had a great time. We ate dinner at the excellent Proof on Main inside the 21c Hotel. The next day we had brunch at a more casual place by the same owner/chef, Garage Bar. Both were great examples of restaurants showcasing local ingredients with lots of style and excellent, creative food--just the kind of places I love.

I'm not even going to get into what I ate. Suffice it to say I broke every rule.

And now, Monday morning, I am sitting here half thinking that I should just throw in the towel and forget about this diet thing. And then I remember that I am doing this for my health. It's not because I want to lose weight (though that wouldn't be the worst thing) or because I enjoy dieting. I am doing it because I have some real concerns about my health and I want to get to the bottom of them and find some balance.

My friend Judy sent me a stern but loving email last week when I told her I'd cheated (she is my "diet buddy" and very knowledgeable about nutrition and health). She reminded me why I was doing this, and said that it takes 7.5 weeks for a person's body to get mellowed out and quit reacting to gluten. So I guess I'm back to day one.