Am I a control freak?

chocolate bread pudding with pears and maple whipped cream

Life's been a bit nuts lately, which explains the month-long absence from the blog. I recently read this funny article by one of my favorite writers, Tracy Moore, in which she argued that it's a myth that you lose your identity when you become a parent. What you lose is precisely your time. That's it. The time just goes out the window when you are the parents of a young child. Somehow, the things you used to do in your free time, things you loved and that formed your identity and made you who you are become the very things you no longer have time for. For me, those things are riding my road bike, listening to and discovering new music, reading, traveling and entertaining.

To say that it's been hard keeping up a blog is an understatement. I don't have time to cook much of anything lately, and I don't have time to write about it even if I did. But let's stop complaining, shall we? And move on to what I have been doing: work and June.

On the June front, things have been great, if trying at times. My girl certainly has a strong and independent personality (wonder where she got that?) and has no problems letting us know what she wants and doesn't want. Her verbal abilities and ease with expressing herself never cease to amaze us. The other day she asked me "what's a sacrifice?" because she'd heard me use the word in conversation. Then on Sunday she told me quite clearly: "Mom, I'm so happy you're home. I love the weekends." My heart melted.

And she recently decided that, despite the false start several months ago and then her stubbornness about the whole thing, she is in fact ready to get out of diapers. She pulled her pants down and squatted at the playground the other day after she'd seen her friend go pee in the bushes. That must have made an impression because she rode all the way home in her wagon diaper-free (but with pants on) and when we got home she proceeded to go potty all by herself. She earned two stickers on her sticker chart and now we're on a roll. (I'll spare you the details). But it is an accomplishment --for both of us. For her, it means she's that much closer to wearing her 'big-girl underpants' like her potty-trained older friends, and for me, it means I soon will not have to wash diapers or fight with her to change them all day long. This is huge. But it also means my little girl is growing up.

At work I've made some discoveries, some mistakes and some bread pudding. A lot of bread pudding. If there's one thing I've learned it's that people love them some custardy, baked bread in this town. They also love anything fried and not that healthy. Which is why my two favorite desserts on the menu right now have been under-selling (the apple crostata and the zucchini cake) in favor of the two more decadent desserts: the chocolate pot de creme and the ricotta doughnuts.

I knew that trying to do things like seasonal fruit-filled, rustic pastry (the crostata) and unusual flavors that combine savory and sweet, citrus and spice (like the cake) might be a challenge. But I will persevere. I am planning to replace the zucchini cake (which people love when they go out on a limb and try it) with something pumpkin for fall. And I am hanging on to the crostata for now (I've switched from peaches to apples), hoping I can still make people love it. I am getting tired of the old pot of chocolate, but people seem to like it and I've gotten pretty good at making it now.

Speaking of which, I made a double batch of them one day like I usually do (that's over 40 jars) and for some reason I'll never know, they didn't set up properly after hours of chilling. Maybe my egg yolk count was off, maybe I took it off the heat too soon, who knows? But when I went to check on it before leaving for the day, it was still in liquid form, not the pudding -like consistency I was looking for. So the next day I was forced to come in on my day off and fix the problem. I wasn't about to throw out all that good chocolate and cream. First I tried pouring them all back into a pot and re-heating it, with a few extra egg yolks thrown in. I'd done some research and a few people claimed it worked. It did not work.

So I decided to try my first attempt at bread pudding. It was already halfway there: melted chocolate, heavy cream and eggs. I poured it over stale bread that I'd cut up and let it sit for 30 minutes. I poured that into ramekins and baked them for an hour. Then I made a peacan-bourbon-caramel sauce and served it warm with the sauce spooned over the top.

 It was a big hit. And I was pleased with myself for taking a mistake and turning it into something even better. I also learned I have to test my pudding  for consistency every time by putting a spoonful on a plate and into the fridge before pouring the whole batch into jars. If, after a few minutes, it doesn't move when the plate is tilted, it's good to go. If not, go back on the heat immediately. With pot de crème, like any custard, it involves a delicate balance between enough heat to thicken (the yolks are the only thickening agent), but not too much or the chocolate will scald. This is why such things can't just be cranked out haphazardly and quickly. They take some amount of focus and patience. This is not for everyone. And it's why I like making desserts. I like the concentration and the figuring out what went wrong and the satisfaction when something finicky turns out great.

I hope I can continue to be somewhat of a perfectionist with my product. I may drive the guy crazy whose job it is to plate my desserts. He may tune me out every time I tell him something that seems unimportant or obvious. I'm not trying to make his life harder. I'm just trying to ensure that the work I do each day to make a quality product is followed through with some care and attention at the back end just before the dessert makes it out to the table.

If the whipped cream is two days old it won't taste right. If the cake has not been sprinkled with powdered sugar before going out, it will look unfinished. And if the bread pudding is too hot you won't taste the different flavors. I have been struggling a bit with trying not to be too much of a control freak. But then I also think that perfectionism produces a great product and it's better to be a little bit of a freak when it comes to making things great. Someone has to care about dessert. After all, it's the last impression a diner has of the whole experience that preceded it. It shouldn't be treated as just an afterthought.

February fun

Where has the month gone? I usually love cooking in February because I can do a lot of extraneous baking for Valentine's day, birthdays, because the weather is cold, you name it. This month, I can only think of two or three things I baked. One was this cocoa layer cake for a friend's 35th birthday party. I found pictures of the birthday girl and all of the people invited to the party (thanks, facebook), printed them and made little cardboard hearts to decorate the cake with. I saw something similar on Martha Stewart recently, but when I tried to find it on her busy website I couldn't, so I just made up my own version. I think it came out rather cute.

The cake got lots of rave reviews too, but who doesn't love a rich and moist chocolate cake? I didn't think it was one of my best but I did make it twice this month!

I also made this chicken pot pie recently--a comfort staple. But for all its down home simplicity, it is pretty labor intensive for a weeknight meal if you make it from scratch like I did. I had cooked the chicken the day before and used the leftovers in this. I had also made the pie crust who knows when and pulled it out of the freezer. But even still, it seemed like a lot of work. I guess because there are a lot of elements that are cooked separately and then put together before being baked. Ok, but it *was* delicious, especially when heated up for lunch the next day.

The highlight of this month was a trip I took to Iowa City to visit one of my best friends and her little girl who was born a month before mine. They are new b.f.f.s and it was soooo cute to see them interact and get to know each other as well as to reconnect with an old friend. Here are a few shots of the snowy weekend.

Happy February everyone!

Pastry+Italian = my idea of Heaven

I feel like a giddy schoolgirl lately, or a groupie of the highest order. That's because I have spent the last few days in the company of only some of THE most important pastry chefs in the WORLD. Yep. That's me looking like I just won the Mega Bucks at a Las Vegas casino. And that's me with the Italian team looking frightened by the honor, the enormity, the sheer brilliance of these pastry professionals.


me with italian team members Fabrizio Galla, Rossano Vinciarelli and Roberto Rinaldini


me with Master pastry chef and judge Ewald Notter (I promise I didn't pay him)

They are here in Nashville for the 2008 World Pastry Team Championship taking place Sunday Aug. 31st and Monday Sept. 1st at Gaylord Opryland Convention Center. Who knew? Did YOU? Because I didn't. And when I found out I nearly fainted with the promise of watching two days of fierce pastry competition: an event of artistry and showmanship, of unbelievable chocolate and sugar showpieces--more art than food-- that, if you haven't seen them before, will blow your mind. Here is just a preview (keep in mind this is ALL chocolate and sugar):









I've had the pleasure of watching the Italian team practice for several days at the Nashville State Culinary School kitchen where they have been guests of some very nice folks, using their kitchen to practice all day everyday for a week. They shipped 5 containers of their own equipment and indredients from Italy and were met by 2 coaches and one team captain. This is just to give you an idea of the greatness of this upcoming event that we in Nashville have the honor of hosting.

What I've seen so far has been amazing. The skill, the precision, the concentration and focus of these gentlemen (who also happen to be some of the nicest chefs I've ever met), has been inspiring to say the least. Not one of them is pretentious or snobby at all. And do they ever have reason to be! In Italy these guys are well-known pastry chefs in a country that takes its culinary professionals very seriously, each of them boasting numerous awards and accolades.

Each team from ten different countries will be requred to complete all of the following elements:

1 sugar showpiece
1 chocolate showpiece
1 pastillage tray
3 different types of chocolate bonbons
3 identical enremets
3 different petits gateaux
3 entremets glacé
14 identical plated desserts

The judging is based on three categories: degustation (taste), 40% of the score; artistic (showpieces), 30% ; and work (hygiene, efficiency, waste)30%. The judges are some of the finest pastry chefs and former pastry champions from all over the world. (I had the pleasure of meeting one while volunteering at the World Pastty Forum, taking place all week leading up to the event with classes for professionals and demonstrations by master pastry chefs from all over the world).

The competition Sunday and Monday is going to be fierce, the skill and beauty awe-inspiring, and hopefully I will report on the *taste* of some of these works of art. I will at least get to see all of the masterpieces from a very close vantage point. In addition to driving the Italian team around town and serving as unofficial personal translator, I have managed to secure a spot as a server during both days of the competition--one of the most coveted spots by volunteers. Our job will be to take each entry by hand (and very carefully) to the judges (except for that huge sculpture which the team carries of course). I will be on my best behaviour, and needless to say, I will be rooting for the Italians. So stay tuned...Forza Italia!

A cake for my honey

I did it again. I went ahead and made a cake. Officially, it is called a "banana-chocolate mousse cake with chocolate ganache" birthday cake for Daniel. Unofficially, it is called a bitch.

N.B.: There are almost 2 lbs of chocolate, in various forms, in this cake!

It is truly a delicious and beautiful cake and worth the effort. But it did take me all day.

I did it in stages because let's face it, who likes to be in the kitchen from morning til night? I will list each phase in the order in which I made it, with a few baker's tips thrown in for you. But, I cannot reprint the actual recipe as it could be a breach of trust between me and my pastry boss (we make this cake at work). And I really, really like him.

1. THE CAKE



I used two 9-inch cake pans, one of them filled with twice as much batter as the other (I needed to end up with 3 layers and had only two pans). The recipe is for a German chocolate cake. It has 4 oz. of sweet, dark chocolate, melted. I used the bulk chocolate from Fresh Market. At work we use Callebaut, a very good Belgian chocolate, but this was a good enough substitue. It also calls for a cup of sour cream. I had made creme fraiche a few days earlier in preparation for this.

Then it's a pretty straightforward cake recipe: flour, sugar, butter, vanilla, eggs, baking soda. It comes out very moist and on the light side in color.

2. THE CHOCOLATE MOUSSE

For this you need more of that good dark chocolate, melted. And, egg whites beaten til stiff. And, whipped heavy cream with powdered sugar (the p. sugar sweetens it but also makes it smoother). Add the melted chocolate to the egg whites and mix until incorporated. Fold the whipped cream in by hand last.



This alone could be a great little dessert, people. I could have stopped there. But this was a Birthday.

3. THE CHOCOLATE BUTTERCREAM

Remember my post about buttercream? Here it is again. That amazing and lovely thing that changes forms several times and is used as a smooth and even under-the-ganache frosting on this cake. To make it, refer to my earlier post, but it's basically egg whites, beaten until stiff with simple syrup that has been boiled and added while hot- slowly and carefully down the sides of your mixer to the whites, and then add soft butter in pats (and lots of it) and keep mixing at least 5 more minutes until it comes together beautifully, and looks shiny. You have to see it to believe it. I actually put it in the fridge and added the melted chocolate later.



4. THE CARAMELIZED BANANAS



These are what make this cake special. Take two bananas, cut them in half and slice them length-wise, then carmelize some sugar (boil it in water til it turns brown), then add a splash of cream to it, add your bananas and stir then turn off the heat. If you wait too long the caramel hardens and that's not what you want. You want a soft and gooey substance to coat the bananas.

5. THE GANANCHE



Ganache, I am learning, is a very useful pastry ingredient. We use it to fill cookies, to decorate cakes and cupcakes, we pipe it, both white and dark chocolate, and I think it just takes this cake from good to professional. It is easy to make, but a little tricky to use. It has to be warm enough to pour, but not hot. And you have to work fast or it will harden on you and you'll have to start over. It's worth the extra care you have to take, I promise. Chop your chocolate, boil some heavy cream and add it to the chocolate in a wide bowl and whisk until smooth and no lumps. Then it's ready to either set up (if you want to pipe or fill with it) or use warm for coating.

A drying rack set over a half sheet pan with an edge is what I used. Set your *chilled* buttercream-smoothly frosted cake (important: if it's not chilled the ganache will make it lumpy; hint: a long off-set spatula here will make your life much easier) on the rack and pour the whole bowl of ganache over it making sure it drips down on all sides evenly. What's left in the sheet pan will harden and you can scrape it off and save.

6. ASSEMBLY



Layer of cake+ choc. mousse + bananas, Repeat...Buttercream frosting, then chill.
Coat with ganache. Decorate.

Tip: putting the cake together--if you brush each layer with simple syrup it makes the cake stay moister longer, esp. since this one requires refrigeration.

Tip: (learned the hard way) don't go all the way to the edge with the mousse or use too much as it will ooze out the sides and be difficult to stop.

Tip: make sure the bananas are completely cooled or they'll melt your mousse.

Tip: see the tip about the off-set spatula.



7. THE DECORATION

I piped some extra ganache in little squiggly lines, and piped buttercream swooshes using a pastry tip. But at work we have the coolest tip called a "St. Honoré" which is more sophisticated and fancy-looking.



This cake was a huge hit. But I can't say I'll make it again unless I'm in a professional kitchen and feeling very confident. Whew. But in my kitchen? Not likely to happen again anytime soon. Happy Birthday, honey.