"Picky eater" muffins

I think this may be a record. My child left the dinner table last night for the third night in a row without eating more than one bite. And it's not that I made food that was inedible. I tried to include in each meal at least one thing that I knew she liked. One night dinner was "risi e bisi" (a staple of kids in Italy): creamy risotto with peas and lots of parmesan cheese. The next it was turkey burgers with cabbage-apple slaw and broccoli (she did eat most of the broccoli) and last night it was beef chili and green salad with Goddess dressing. She even requested the chili and then decided it was not what she wanted after all. What is wrong with her??!!

Okay, so my frustration has reached a peak level. It's all I can do to sit quietly at the table each night fuming and trying to pretend I don't care what she eats. Tonight I did let on how disappointed I was that she would not eat the dinners her daddy and I put on the table each night, trying really hard to guilt her into eating something, to no avail.


So today I decided that perhaps subterfuge will be my new weapon of choice. I am going to start sneaking healthy foods into baked goods and smoothies and anything else I can use to disguise the foods I want her to eat. I always scoffed at this when I met parents who did this or heard about it in the latest celebrity cookbook. But here I am. It's my reality and I am willing to go to some pretty great lengths if it means I can get this kid to eat well.

I found this healthy muffin recently on the NYTimes website and tweaked it a bit. It's pretty forgivable and changeable, especially as far as the veggies you 'sneak' in. I've tried it twice now making small changes and this one is definitely the keeper. I also doubled it so that I can make a bunch and freeze them.

If you have an uncooperative eater right now, please share your stories so that I don't feel so alone. And if you try this recipe let me know what you think!

Lunchbox Harvest Muffins (adapted from Melissa Clark of The NYT)

(this recipe yields about two dozen mini-muffins, and probably 12-15 regular muffins)
 
 2 1/2 cups of flour* 
 (*The orig. recipe called for whole wheat pastry flour. Since I am trying to avoid wheat, I used half almond flour and half garbanzo-fava bean flour. You could also use Bob's Red Mill all-purpose gluten-free flour).
 2 teaspoons baking soda
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 eggs
3/4 cup olive oil (or coconut oil)
2 tablespoons of honey
2/3 cup dark brown sugar
 1 med apple, grated with any juices reserved
1 cup grated carros (or butternut squash)
1 cup grated zucchini (or beets)
(1/3 cup (golden) raisins)

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease mini-muffin tins
2. Whisk together flours, baking soda, cinnamon and salt in med. bowl
3. Combine eggs, oil, honey, brown sugar, grated apple and juices and grated veggies in large bowl
4. Using a spatula, gently fold the dry ingredients into the wet mixture until just combined. Fold in raisins if using.
5. Fill each muffin cup and bake for about 15 minutes, or when a toothpick comes out clean.

April showers ...

The look that preceded the explosion ...

 Last night we went out with a big group to watch one of our friends play bluegrass music at a neighborhood restaurant. The rain drizzled lightly but no one seemed to care as it was a fun night, the music was good, the kids were dancing and it was a nice way to wind down the weekend. Then, without warning but coming on the heels of a pretty emotional weekend, our usually mellow, sweet child went from zero to sixty and a tantrum of epic proportions ensued.

It was the kind of tantrum I've witnessed other people's kids have on occasion but fortunately, not that common for us. And just when I thought we'd escaped the toddler years mostly unscathed only to find out the pre-school years are much worse, there we were running for the car, kicking and screaming child in our arms, embarrassed beyond belief and glad that one of us at least had the presence of mind to pay the bill a few minutes earlier.

 I want to say that I handled this and the other challenges of the weekend (another full-blown fit upon leaving a party the night before, as well as a whole new level of verbal abuse that I thought I'd have to wait until the teenage years to experience) with grace and calm. I've read the parenting books, I know that children need love, especially when they least deserve it. But man, is it easier said than done.

All I can say is this parenthood thing is a learning process and sometimes it hurts. It is also full of unexpected moments of beauty and a love that fills you up completely and makes you wonder how you survived before you knew this kind of love.

As year four of our girl's life moves quickly toward a close, it feels like we have all come a long way. The last year has had its ups and downs and April felt like a microcosmic version of the whole year. It was, like the rest of the past 10 months or so, a roller coaster of emotions. I have always loved April because I look forward to Spring and to celebrating Easter and it was also my mom's birthday month. So the happiness and sadness are intertwined, as is usually the case.

Adding to that, yesterday was the official due date of the baby we lost. It's hard to believe that if things had worked out differently we would be welcoming another child into our lives right about now. I've moved into the latter stages of grief, however, and instead of a stabbing pain when I think of that, it now feels more like a subtle twinge. And, instead of feeling overwhelming sadness when I hear of other people's babies being born, I now feel genuinely happy for them, the darker feelings  gradually being replaced by the joy and happiness that I used to always feel at the sight of a new baby.

My own 'baby' is quickly becoming a little girl, coming into her own on so many levels and starting to show her predilections and preferences more and more as well as her "spirited" personality. She's a tough cookie and I wouldn't have it any other way. Not too long ago she started climbing all over the place on the playground without much fear, something I thought she may never show any interest in doing. She's gotten really good at riding her bike, another thing she was slow to show interest in. She played her first soccer game and was actually not bad at it, and she is still really interested in music and dance.

And lastly, Daniel and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary (and 9 years together) and it feels like our bond just keeps getting stronger. I know how cliché that must sound and I'll try not to fall too deep into sentimental dribble. But I just feel so lucky to have met this guy and to be able to have a family with him and grow together as parents and as partners. He may not share in my love of coffee or foreign films or a good thrift store find, but he does the bath and bedtime routine with our daughter and then cleans up the dinner dishes –after a full day of work—because he can tell I’ve had a hard day. And he can stop me in my tracks when I’m about to go off the rails about something inconsequential. He is so patient with me even when—mostly when—I do not deserve it.

Let's hope it is true that April showers do bring May flowers because it's raining like crazy out there today. I also hope that after the storm that was April, May will be a little bit calmer. But I'm not holding my breath.